Response to the 5 + 2 issues people have with iPhone

You may also like to read “4 Reasons why the iPhone is awesome“. And not to our scheduled programming.

Paul Kedrosky is quick to pip up and take a quick shot at the iPhone, he posts the ever popular numbered list. Because everyone knows numbered lists look factual, and not opinionated!

Here are his, and scobleaieielrazers weak points:

1 The touchpad. How do you operate a touchphone in your pocket, or under a table by feel at a meeting? You scoff, but you’d be amazed how often that is how business emailing happens. Early users, like Pogue at the Times, are already pointing how slow the thing is for email usage.

Early users? Firstly, you have a predictive softpad for email and texting. This allows you to have the most efficient input. Are you saying you touch type a handheld keboard?

The signature of any blackberry user is that they hang their heads in shame as they click away. Your point makes no sense. You are saying that you do not look at your pad while typing, I call you a liar. I have seen the blackberry users. I wonder if they have ever thought what they look like gazing into their crotch area like that.

Verdict: Invalid Point – the touchpad is more efficient (I have read Pogue’s stuff before, I can remember objecting to it in some way or another, time for another look)

2 The closed system. Is Apple serious that it won’t let third-party developers build software for the thing? If so, and put simply, the device will fail. A closed-box consumer electronics mentality will work in music players, but the future of mobile devices is as a platform, and that requires developers.

Wonderful. Where did you hear about this? I think you took ‘there is no SDK omg omg omg omg omg omg omg’ a bit to far didn’t you. Apple have embraced the 3rd party market. Look at iPod.

Verdict: Strawman tactics. FUD. “Let’s paint the worst case scenario, as fact, and hope it sways early opinion”

3 The Cingular relationship. While every wireless carrier has its haters, Cingular has more than most (both for its service and for its Edge network). Tying up exclusively to Cingular forces some of the loudest among the digerati to wait for an unlocked iPhone before they can begin touting the device for Apple.

As I mentioned in my previous post – it isn’t so much as cingular or not. What are the economics and decisions about this? I would love to see it open. Since this phone is quad band, and will be international, I am sure it will not be Cingular ‘exclusive’ all over the world. I am sure it will be sold internationally. I am sure you can reSIM it.

I think that the Cingular network deal ensures that all users have the required connectivity, and by having some buying power I’d like to see them make this connectivity accessible. Even on a $$$$ phone.

Verdict: We both see Cingular are obtuse, but you have to see on this one.

4 Its vaporware status. The iPhone won’t ship until June, at the earliest. That is going to cause (more) volatility in Apple’s share price, as well as create oodles of market uncertainty. Why did Apple decide it had to announce so far in front of the ship date? My guess: Apple knows that something similar is coming from another vendor very soon.

Hahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Take yesterdays headline about iPhone being vaporware, and reapply it to today. Redundant. Look at the fucking definition of vaporware.

You cannot use ‘vaporware’ and ‘early users’ in the same fucking post. You, are a fucking lame moron. If the astute reader still needed a reason to discredit all your gleefully typed points, this is an easy one. ++points for FUD though.

Verdict: I won’t even give the point the credit of a verdict. Just a fucking stupid self-deprecating fuck up in an already dubious post. Look at me! look at me! I am writing about the iPhone in an authorative and uninterested manner, will you share a cup of pretentious coffee with me and let me look down your top?

5 The price. To be honest, I’m not as hung up about the price than most people, and I think the $599++ price is less important than the preceding four factors. Then again, it’s leaving a very large pricing umbrella for other smart(-ish) phone vendors, so this is going to be a confusing ride this year in that market. Certainly, I don’t echo other analysts in feeling like Apple’s 10-million unit figure is lowside, as some insist.

hahaha Dumb fucker. The price is by far the most important. Why?

Well fuck-up. The price makes this a power-user tool. Because people who want just a phone, or just an ipod won’t buy it. But. The price compared with many prosumer products is very good. It isn’t sitting like some un-pigeon-holed product. It has a huge and growing market.

Verdict: The writer has glossed over a point that he could have made a sincere effort to use in his favor. Instead he let me do it and bolster the reliability and credibility of my own argument. Thanks nut-weed!

6) Battery is only two hours up to five hours and is not replaceable (if you play video). UPDATE: sorry for getting that wrong, but tons of people, including some Mac journalists told me it’d only get two hours in video playback mode. Watch a video and your battery is dead. Now your cell phone is dead too. So, you won’t want to watch a video on a plane flight with this thing like you would with your iPod.

Captain Grammar! (or is that Second Leiutenant Semantics?) “and is not replaceable (if you play video).” What are you trying to achieve by writing in such a shattered way?

Firstly, 5 hours of TALK TIME. I haven’t seen figures for standby. Neither have you it seems. Secondly. My PDA with a fist sized battery caves in after 1 movie on a full charge. That screen is QVGA, ~60ppi. I’d love to see how the battery life compares as a phone. And how it compars as a media player (with that screen). Since we are never too far from a charge point, I’d have to say, plan your charges.

I admit, running out of charge sucks, but in our every day lives, when are we not next to a cahrge point? When trekking, don’t watch a movie. Watch one on the commute.

Verdict: Not a stupid point. Battery life is important, you can never have enough. You cannot have a device like this, with todays tech, to watch a movie, and have battery left over. You can’t. So it is redundant. If the Phone battery behaves like a phone, then there is no problem. I see no issue with a 2 hour movie mode battery.

7) It’s Cingular only and GSM. That automatically keeps more than half of Americans from considering this and for the rest of the world? They are laughing about the iPhone now.

Didn’t we cover that? Scobleieliezer, shut up.

Verdict: <snip> Yeah. Well, we cover the issue of Cingular… The rest of the world uses GSM networks. The US is quite peculiar in some respects. I am sure the quad band didn’t miss you, so why is the rest of the world left out?

The camera sucks. It’s a 2megapixel device without flash, without zoom. Nokia’s newest cameras blow this one away.

As I already mentioned. 2MP doesn’t beat a camera. You can buy a $400 camera if you want. Or a $300. Or a $700. 2MP is Flickr-friendly, beats many many phone cameras.

In case you got lost in the magnitude of technology: This is a phone you fuckwit. And as such, it can claim one of the best phones on the market. Your move. Asswipe.

Verdict: Scocksuckerilzer is more of a cheapshot than that other fellow, the one whose name I have forgotten.

9) No GPS. For a $600 device that really, really, really sucks.

My PDA doesn’t have GPS. Does that suck? My Laptop doesn’t either. Nor does the oil painting I bought last week. They all suck. Because they cost about the same, and none of them have GPS.

If my next coffee machine doesn’t have it, then fuck that too!

Wait… GPS… the random lie that apple aren’t opening this to 3rd parties… on the horizon (in fact, quoted as lots of peripherals in June)… a GP-motherfucking-S-snakes-on-a-mother-fucking-plane bitch.

Verdict: Proving themselves wrong again, it is apparent that there will be > 4 GPS devices for the iPhone before ‘08. You heard that bitches. > 4. How does it suck now?

I am not even a fucking apple / mac / osXYZ fanboy you know. I just see a good gadget, and a floodgate of FUD when I see it.

Fuck the FUD people. Comments?